|
Rudy’s In
 The long-awaited presidential exploratory FEC filing from America’s Playah, Rudy Giuliani, finally came yesterday – two weeks late. Rudy was annoyingly cavalier about his presidential intentions when he addressed the NH Republican State Convention on January 26th – claimed he had to weigh the yeas and neas of moving to Washington with the newest Mrs. G.
If his wife was apprehensive about a national campaign, it was with good reason – any candidate’s spouse needs to be wholeheartedly onboard, but Judy has special considerations. How any of that was resolved by talking about it one more time is unknown, but Rudy is a lawyer, after all.
Delaying the decision was a miscalculation – what’s worse was offering the unwashed rubes of NH the weak beer he served up – a serious tactical error. Not deadly, but coming off as unsure of himself, and using his wife as cover, looked weak – not at all like the Rudy Giuliani they want for president.
He had every activist and influential Republican in the state under one roof, and with this rapt audience, he played it like Hamlet on the Hudson. This is job interview; an abundance of enthusiasm is a prerequisite.
Rudy understands how this works. These people are looking to hook-up with a presidential candidate who they can muckle onto like a cuttle fish rides a shark. There are goodies to be had in this game – from ambassadorial posts to dinner at the White House, to a signed card at Christmas. There they were at the $2 window looking to make a bet, and Rudy wouldn’t say if he’s running.
I’m guessing the discomfort he created made its way back to Rudy’s camp post-haste.
So now he’s in the race, and despite the polls two years out that say he’s eclipsing John McCain, Rudy’s a pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, playboy Republican. A Buddhist butcher has less to explain away.
If Giuliani has a real chance of winning, it means one or more of three things:
- The Republicans have finally released their unholy liplock on the Religious Right’s ass-end;
- Polls are as reliable as MySpace profiles, or;
- The end is nigh.
Meaning, if you like George Bush and Dick Cheney, you’re going to love President Rudy. They’re three politicians who benefited greatly from 9-11, despite their grave errors before, during, and after the attack. Yet they still evangelize about it – reminding us how scared we should be, and how lucky we are to have tough guys like them in our corner. And remember, every freedom we surrender makes us a little safer, and therefore, a little freer. It’s unseemly, Orwellian, and beneath us. Not beneath them, but us.
As mayor, Rudy turned Times Square into Branson, MO by shipping the hookers and crackheads off to the boroughs and inviting Disney to anchor the thoroughfare; he defended the three cops who emptied their clips into Amadou Dialo – an innocent man minding his own business; he appointed himself art tsar when he didn’t approve of an African exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum. But it’s going to take more than the NYPD with a license to kill to make Haifa Street in Baghdad livable again, and if Bernie Kerick is his idea of a good public servant, if my-way-or-the-highway is now an acceptable management style for liberal democracy, then the end is indeed nigh.
~Jack McEnany
|
