Will he Go Down for Trying to Get it Up?
 I was as shocked as I’m sure Gary Bauer was to learn that Rush Limbaugh got dinged at customs for  carrying around somebody else’s little blue boner pills. We don’t know much, but we know this:
FACT: Rush Limbaugh is a drug addict who filed a plea of "Not Guilty" with the Palm Beach County Court on multiple counts of doctor shopping, and entered into an alternative sentencing agreement with the State Attorney to avoid trial. On April 28, 2006, his lawyer, Roy Black, revealed the deal, which he charitably described a “settlement,” as if it were a civil case. Which it decidedly is not.
FACT: Without the lawyered-up language, the State Attorney filed a single charge of doctor shopping with the Court. The charge is being held in abeyance for 18 months with the following requirements:
- Limbaugh pays a $30K fine to the State of Florida.
- He remains drug-free and crime-free for a period of 18 months.
- He submits to random drug testing.
- He pays $30 per month to defray the cost of his probation.
- He remains in treatment with his current substance abuse counselor.
FACT: Limbaugh got snagged by US Customs upon returning to Palm Beach International with a prescription bottle belonging to his doctor. This was done “for privacy reasons,” Black explained yesterday. The controlled substance was Viagra.
FACT: In the State of Florida, as long as his doctor properly documented the third-party prescription, this is not prescription fraud. Otherwise it’s a 2nd degree misdemeanor.
LIMBAUGH COMMENT: “How did Bob Dole’s luggage get on my plane?
IDLE SPECULATION: Viagra? Maybe that's where he got his name. Rush...like, whoa, slow down there tubby, we got all night.
NASTY GRATUITOUS AD HOMINENM: Could this dimwitted bile duct be more pathetic?
RAMPANT SPECULATION: A junkie alone in the Dominican Republic with a cache of Viagra…can you say sex vacation? What's Gary Bauer going to think?
Disappointing Update: According the the FLA State Att'y, Rush will not be prosecuted for fraud. Roy Black explains it as a simple case of Rush's cardiologist writing a Viagra scrip to his psychologist who then gave the controlled substance to Rush "to avoid embarrassing publicity." Good plan
.
~Jack McEnany
Also see: Limbaugh Overload
|
