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 Republicans Speed-Dating Candidates – Ready for Fred
Fred Thompson will soon become the newest Republican presidential candidate who no one likes once they get to know him. The Republicans’ problem is that they’ve idealized Ronald Reagan well beyond the man’s true abilities, and they’re love-sick for another one just like they think he was. In reality Reagan was as shallow and feckless as they come, and so in the hopes of uncovering another Gipper, Republicans are subconsciously drawn to the worst among us. They need relationship counseling.
And where does this leave Dick Wolfe, the producer of Law&Order, and all Fred’s co-stars, none of whom will be making dime one from residuals when the re-runs are yanked on July 4th, the day Ol’ Fred throws his new wife’s favorite teddy in the ring? Maybe they’ll consider that their financial contribution to his campaign.
Speaking of financial contributions, will Fred’s active participation in the Scooter Libby Defense Fund (chaired by Tucker’s dad, Richard Carlson) be a problem for candidate Thompson? Citing Scooters absolute lack of remorse, Patrick Fitzgerald has asked the judge to sentence him to 30 to 37 months for obstructing justice in the federal government’s investigation into who revealed the identity of a covert CIA agent to the press. Is that the kind of thing an Ol’ Fred presidency won’t fret about?
Can he win? No. I don’t think any of them can. But I didn’t think Bush could win either. That of course, was eight years ago, and a lot of puffed up corpses have floated under the bridge since then. 08 will be a worse year for Republicans than 06 was. The only way they can retain the presidency is to steal it again, which, you know…who knows?
~Jack McEnany
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